Missing my dad...

I've missed my dad every day since he passed away, but Christmas really hits me hard. The last time I talked to my dad our conversation was about Christmas.

It was September, and he was teasing me about the fact that I was already asking him for gift ideas. Anyone who knows me is probably not surprised that I was getting ready for Christmas in September, what's funny about my dad teasing me for it is that I'm fairly sure my obsession for organizing and planning came from him!

I knew one day my parents would pass away, but nothing could have prepared me for his death. The unexpectedness of it only added to my shock. In the midst of all the pain, God comforted me. He is always good, but His goodness to me those first few days I will never forget. I cry just thinking about it.

There are two songs that I've held close to my heart and sang to myself often during the last year and couple of months that he's been gone. I'm sure you've heard them...

Blessed be Your Name by Tree63:

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful,
Where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name, when I'm found in the desert place,
Though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name.
Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name when the sun's shining down on me,
When the world's all as it should be, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering,
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name.
You give and take away, you give and take away.
My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.

and Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns:

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining. As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am, and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand, You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm. I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry to You and raised me up again. My strength is almost gone, how can I carry on if I can't find You. And as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

Isn't it amazing how a song can speak to you. How the words can so perfectly describe the way you're feeling. I know I'm not alone in missing a loved one during the holidays. Thankfully, because of Jesus, we can grieve our losses on Earth with an Eternal Hope. Praise you Lord!